Wednesday, March 23, 2005

False Alarm #1

We went to the hospital last night at 11pm. We got back at 8am. False alarm number 1 out of the way.
Elli pulled something in her back which was causing spasms, which spread to the front, which we mistook for contractions. Or, they might've been those fake contractions.
Or something.
All I know, is Elli got to sample vicodin, demerol and morphine and I got NOTHING.
And yet, my brain is mush.
Where's my flask.....?

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Children

"Children are Nature's riff-raff: noisy, smelly and likely to steal the dessert off your tray. They have an undeniable low cunning whatever the state of their so-called intelligence and they seem to delight in traipsing over my lawn any time...where's my pie?"

-TotalFarker The Other

found somewhere in here: http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=1405488

Saturday, March 12, 2005

A touch of Weirdness in Grass Nut Country

Took a trip up to scenic Firebaugh so Elli could be a guest speaker at an early childhood class at West Hills College. I sat out in the lobby and read. Next thing I know, there's a girl from the class who seems to be crying and talking quietly with the teacher. I tried to ignore this and go about my business reading. But the crying is a little more panicky and the breathing more erratic. Then some of the other girls from the class came out. Turns out the girl was having the beginnings of a seizure. And apparently wasn't keen on calling 911. Bad news, man.

Soon, there are more girls milling about out in the lobby than there are in the class, so Elli decides to use this as a potty break. So, as she passes by me, I nod in the direction of the now mildly seizing girl on the floor. She jumps into First Aid mode, but there's nothing to do, as another teacher had taken over and had said "By God, we ARE calling 911" and gotten things in motion. So, Elli continues on to the Ladies' Room when she sees another girl sitting in a chair next to the door with a pain expression on her face. Turns out she was around 6 weeks pregnant and thought she was in the process of having a miscarriage. So, 911 got another call.

By this time I had gathered up my book and my water and started moving slowly towards the door.

In the end, the class went on as scheduled, the seizure ran it's course and she got taken home by a friend to get her medicine - which she apparently hadn't taken that day - and the pregnant girl got to ride in the ambulance.

And Elli even got paid.

It should be noted that Firebaugh has a seemingly great guy on the EMS staff who could quite possibly be a yokozuna

Grass nuts

Friday, March 04, 2005

The Swingline

And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year..
"And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire..."